I’m a huge believer in anything “woo”. Feng Shui, astrology, fortune telling…
I don’t think it matters if they work. Their real power is in their PROMISE. They give you hope. They help you focus on what you want. And they keep you busy, which is the best thing you can do for your love life, always. While you’re messing about with a compass trying to find the ideal place for your wastepaper basket, you’re too busy to do any negative relationship things, like: overthink; blame yourself; text someone who’s swerving you; propose; accept a booty date. You get the idea.
Vision Boards work
Years ago, I was 29, single, and feeling quite angsty about it. One night when it felt like all my friends were off doing complicated sex wearing massive engagement rings, I stayed in and channelled all my loneliness into drawing a picture of a girl (me) gazing up at a man wearing a deerstalker hat. I didn’t know the man, but I made him handsome, with a goatee beard and long dark eyelashes.
A month later, I went on a blind date and the man showed up, with long eyelashes and a goatee beard, wearing a hat. (It wasn’t a deerstalker, but it turned out he had a deerstalker.) I fell in love with him at first sight he ended up being my first husband.
I think the picture worked because I yearned for what the picture represented. Today, I’m married to my second husband. I’m so settled and happy that I don’t have angsty emotions to channel into a Love Vision Board. These days, my only yearning is for a KitchenAid mixer. But I still add smoochy photos to my Vision Board to ensure we keep things spicy.
How to create a Love Vision Board in 5 easy steps:
Step 1: Create an electronic document using Pinterest, or Canva, or just a Word document
You don’t want to go all cutty-sticky when you’re creating a Love Vision Board. An electronic vision board is more discreet. If you’re single and trying to be all elusive, you don’t want anyone coming into your house and seeing a massive board full of wedding pictures.
And secondly, grabbing pictures off the internet lets you source the EXACT image you want. If you yearn for a long, stable, passionate marriage like Barack and Michele’s, you can find a picture of them. If you’re relying on magazines, you might have to substitute a picture of a less-happy couple. And then you’ll be screwed. Or rather, you won’t.
Step 2: Think about what you REALLY want
The Universe takes your Vision Board at face value. So unless you want to be leaping out of aeroplanes on a date, don’t add pictures of sky-diving couples just because you like the picture. Remember, this is your shopping list.
What does a perfect date look like to you? A couple reading different books, snuggled up in a chair? Get that picture. A couple spending all week in bed? Get that picture. A blissful cooperative union where the man cooks? You get the picture.
Step 3: Add dates and time limits
I’ve found the Universe often procrastinates on my Vision Boards, doing sweet FA all year, then showering me with goodies in late-winter. I got my Dating Writer of the Year Award in November; I won a lucrative Vagisan contract in December; I met my first husband in October. It’s all a bit white-knuckle. So now I add time-limits to my Vision. I’ll put a picture of a stack of cash, then add the (snippy) caption: MONEY FLOWS IN TO ME IN FEBRUARY. Do that with your Love Vision. Want to be married this summer? Add a text box stating, JULY WEDDING! Or find images of couples marrying under a summery sky, not a candlelit Christmas setting.
Step 4: Don’t worry about the “how”
Once you’ve filled your document with images of book-reading, humping couples getting married in Spring (or whatever), your brain will start plaguing you with doubts. “That man is a bit too handsome for me,” you’ll think, hovering your doubtful mouse over a picture of Ryan Gosling. “Maybe I should choose a more realistic man, like Eamonn Holmes.”
Don’t listen! Our job is NOT to worry about how the Universe is going to bring the Ryan lookalike to your modest terraced house. That’s controlling, and like telling someone how to drive. Instead, relax and trust that Everything Will Be Fine.
Or your self-doubt will show up in your own procrastination. Scared that your Board might actually work and force you to go out on an actual date with someone, you’ll start faffing about in Photoshop, messing about with resolution sizes or stressing about text boxes.
Again, stop. Trust In The Process. The Universe won’t send you a stressful date situation (unless you’ve accidentally chosen that sky-diving picture), so stop worrying. Finish the Board and get on with your life.
Step 5: Look at your Love Vision Board regularly
Once you’ve created your board, save it where you – but only you – can see it regularly, for example as a private Pinterest board, or your home computer’s wallpaper. Every month, check in and have another look at it. Don’t study it angrily, tapping your watch and snarling, “Well, THAT hasn’t happened yet.” Instead, let yourself feel as happy and blissful as you’ll feel when you start experiencing all those lovely things.
This time next year, check the Board again — when you’re snuggled up with Ryan Gosling by the fire in your Malibu mansion — and rejoice in the Universe’s bounty.